thank you mr oldmeme for the front cover of this manga you will be the first to ascend to anime heaven
Monday, August 17, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Just another day on the job.
DAY 1:
It had all gone so well, only to fall apart now.
As I ran through these broken roads, I knew it was over for me.
A dead end, I figured as much.
They're behind me now, I black out.
Hours passed, I'm strapped to a fucking jet, I glance to my left.
They're trapped here too. Great, now I have to get myself out of this as well as a bunch of rookies?
With my edginess alone, I cut myself free of my bondage, and action roll towards a watchtower.
I quietly ascend the ladder, and "take care" of the snipers on the tower.
I take his rifle, he won't be needing it anymore. I shoot the biggest most important guy I see first.
A perfect shot, he goes down, things become chaotic fast.
I leap off the watchtower and land on some unsuspecting soldier who softened the fall, the guy next to him wasn't expecting a knife to the throat.
In the commotion, I cut the other captives free, and I make for the exit.
A knife was thrown at me, missing me by just inches, without thinking, I tear it from the wall and throw it back, he goes down.
I make my escape.
DAY 2:
Everything's going according to plan, except now I'm Shinji Ikari.
BUT THERE'S NO GAY PIANO SCENE HERE, SON. (But we did get to hold hands a little.)
Bomb defusal, that was our job for today, easy enough.
Whoever we're fighting are fucking amateurs, just put the thing in the middle of a room.
It's taken care of in minutes, but we hear an explosion.
Was this bomb just a decoy?
We head outside, they're attacking us again.
We're only in schoolboy outfits, so we get the fuck out of there.
DAY 3:
Today I'm just trying to relax a little in an ice cream store, some twelve year old knows who I am and reprimands me for my less than stellar performance yesterday.
He doesn't understand what it's like in the corps, he doesn't have a distractingly attractive anime boyfriend.
Suddenly, I hear people panicking, I look outside, there's a flood.
We're trapped here in an ice cream store.
Yeah sure, whatever.
DAY 4:
Now we're trolling, but I'm not talking about shitposting on the internet. I'm my Homestuck original character, and I'm exploring a dungeon with my other fellow fucking nerds.
Everything's going alright, but shit's spooky so I panic and die.
But my character turns into a ghost and will revive in like two minutes.
I'm balanced, okay?
DAY 5:
Another day just trying to unwind, I go onto YouTube and watch a video on how some guy modded Ratchet and Clank.
Using his coding prowess, he's made Ratchet fat.
"Incredible," I mutter under my breath. The YouTube commenters aren't as impressed.
One of them points out that Ratchet becomes fat in a scene from the third game and that this modder is lying through his teeth.
"Nerds," I think to myself, and close Google Chrome.
What better way to unwind from the horrors from war than to simulate those horrors of war? I boot up Blacklight: Retribution.
Now I know something's up, because that game is deader than Elvis.
Regardless, I play.
In minutes I'm top of the leaderboard, my kills exceed hundreds (mostly because of proximity mines that I'm putting fucking everywhere.) My nephew is envious of my skills.
But then, I get a message on Steam, who is it?
It's my best friend.
But I don't answer him immediately, this is all wrong.
And just like that, I'm pulled back into the world of the living.
DID I MENTION THIS WAS ALL A FUCKING DREAM BECAUSE YEAH THAT HAPPENED
It had all gone so well, only to fall apart now.
As I ran through these broken roads, I knew it was over for me.
A dead end, I figured as much.
They're behind me now, I black out.
Hours passed, I'm strapped to a fucking jet, I glance to my left.
They're trapped here too. Great, now I have to get myself out of this as well as a bunch of rookies?
With my edginess alone, I cut myself free of my bondage, and action roll towards a watchtower.
I quietly ascend the ladder, and "take care" of the snipers on the tower.
I take his rifle, he won't be needing it anymore. I shoot the biggest most important guy I see first.
A perfect shot, he goes down, things become chaotic fast.
I leap off the watchtower and land on some unsuspecting soldier who softened the fall, the guy next to him wasn't expecting a knife to the throat.
In the commotion, I cut the other captives free, and I make for the exit.
A knife was thrown at me, missing me by just inches, without thinking, I tear it from the wall and throw it back, he goes down.
I make my escape.
DAY 2:
Everything's going according to plan, except now I'm Shinji Ikari.
 |
| I can't complain. |
Bomb defusal, that was our job for today, easy enough.
Whoever we're fighting are fucking amateurs, just put the thing in the middle of a room.
It's taken care of in minutes, but we hear an explosion.
Was this bomb just a decoy?
We head outside, they're attacking us again.
We're only in schoolboy outfits, so we get the fuck out of there.
DAY 3:
Today I'm just trying to relax a little in an ice cream store, some twelve year old knows who I am and reprimands me for my less than stellar performance yesterday.
He doesn't understand what it's like in the corps, he doesn't have a distractingly attractive anime boyfriend.
Suddenly, I hear people panicking, I look outside, there's a flood.
We're trapped here in an ice cream store.
Yeah sure, whatever.
DAY 4:
Now we're trolling, but I'm not talking about shitposting on the internet. I'm my Homestuck original character, and I'm exploring a dungeon with my other fellow fucking nerds.
Everything's going alright, but shit's spooky so I panic and die.
But my character turns into a ghost and will revive in like two minutes.
I'm balanced, okay?
DAY 5:
Another day just trying to unwind, I go onto YouTube and watch a video on how some guy modded Ratchet and Clank.
Using his coding prowess, he's made Ratchet fat.
"Incredible," I mutter under my breath. The YouTube commenters aren't as impressed.
One of them points out that Ratchet becomes fat in a scene from the third game and that this modder is lying through his teeth.
"Nerds," I think to myself, and close Google Chrome.
What better way to unwind from the horrors from war than to simulate those horrors of war? I boot up Blacklight: Retribution.
Now I know something's up, because that game is deader than Elvis.
Regardless, I play.
In minutes I'm top of the leaderboard, my kills exceed hundreds (mostly because of proximity mines that I'm putting fucking everywhere.) My nephew is envious of my skills.
But then, I get a message on Steam, who is it?
It's my best friend.
But I don't answer him immediately, this is all wrong.
And just like that, I'm pulled back into the world of the living.
DID I MENTION THIS WAS ALL A FUCKING DREAM BECAUSE YEAH THAT HAPPENED
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Friday, June 26, 2015
Sunday, June 7, 2015
D R E A M B O Y S
No I still don't have anything worthwhile to say and yes this is another dream post.
Also I don't know if you've noticed but I have a new blog name (and by extension new url) which means if you're still searching the old url it will appear as if this blog disappeared without a trace (if only it did.) If that ever happens again remember that you can always just search 'Ryan Takanashi' on Google and it will take you straight here.
But most people probably think I deleted this blog out of shame (And I should) so I've probably lost half of my readers. But since half of zero is still zero we should be fine.
But whatever, IT IS TIME FOR DREAMS NOW (Also this one is kind of short so to make up for it I have MASTERFULLY ILLUSTRATED said dreams)
We start off nice and easy with me being in a black and white arena fending off zombified League of Legends characters while said arena slowly fills up with water. Like I said nice and easy motherfucker HOW BOUT THAT?
And some other shit happens after that, but I honestly don't remember any of it. I think it involved drowning, though.
But sadly, our story doesn't end here. We just sort of skip ahead to me navigating a maze made of flesh, pretty metal as fuck, right? Did I mention this wasn't a nightmare at all? Like I was totally comfortable with the circumstances thrust upon me? Yeah, that's interesting.
But upon entering the centre of this maze, I was greeted by a giant mouth that- And I'm not fucking with you here- believed he was Tony Hawk in a past life.
Of all things, Tony fuckin' Hawk? Seriously?
But eventually he managed to convince me to get his original body back. And he suggested I start looking in...
A supermarket.
If you had to go looking for Tony Hawk, NATURALLY you had to check a supermarket first.
So off I went, complete with a nifty montage of me searching for Tony Hawk. It was hilarious, you really should have been there.
But I couldn't find him. Disappointed, I leave the supermarket, and the dream ends with a young boy growling at me, getting increasingly louder until he's practically screaming at me.
But, my faithful readers (all zero of them) I have thrown you for a loop YET AGAIN. For I had YET ANOTHER DREAM. This ends our tour of the ruse cruise and we continue with our regularly scheduled program.
It starts in a forest, and I'm just kinda running around and generally dicking about, but then I come across some familiar faces...
It's none other than Van Hohenheim and Alphonse Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist!
From what I can understand out of our conversation, we're about 75% through the FMA:B anime with only Hohenheim and I knowing how their adventure is going to end. With this knowledge, he and I continuously make jokes about future events as Alphonse stares at us with a confused expression.
"Yeah, I guess you could say the whole city is going to be involved in this final fight of yours." I say.
I then get a fucking high-five from Hohenheim.
Then we watch kids play football and everyone lived happily ever after.
Also I don't know if you've noticed but I have a new blog name (and by extension new url) which means if you're still searching the old url it will appear as if this blog disappeared without a trace (if only it did.) If that ever happens again remember that you can always just search 'Ryan Takanashi' on Google and it will take you straight here.
But most people probably think I deleted this blog out of shame (And I should) so I've probably lost half of my readers. But since half of zero is still zero we should be fine.
But whatever, IT IS TIME FOR DREAMS NOW (Also this one is kind of short so to make up for it I have MASTERFULLY ILLUSTRATED said dreams)
We start off nice and easy with me being in a black and white arena fending off zombified League of Legends characters while said arena slowly fills up with water. Like I said nice and easy motherfucker HOW BOUT THAT?
 |
| Zed's dead, baby. |
But sadly, our story doesn't end here. We just sort of skip ahead to me navigating a maze made of flesh, pretty metal as fuck, right? Did I mention this wasn't a nightmare at all? Like I was totally comfortable with the circumstances thrust upon me? Yeah, that's interesting.
But upon entering the centre of this maze, I was greeted by a giant mouth that- And I'm not fucking with you here- believed he was Tony Hawk in a past life.
 |
| Get a load of this guy. |
Of all things, Tony fuckin' Hawk? Seriously?
But eventually he managed to convince me to get his original body back. And he suggested I start looking in...
A supermarket.
If you had to go looking for Tony Hawk, NATURALLY you had to check a supermarket first.
So off I went, complete with a nifty montage of me searching for Tony Hawk. It was hilarious, you really should have been there.
But I couldn't find him. Disappointed, I leave the supermarket, and the dream ends with a young boy growling at me, getting increasingly louder until he's practically screaming at me.
 |
| FUCKIN NORMIE. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
It starts in a forest, and I'm just kinda running around and generally dicking about, but then I come across some familiar faces...
It's none other than Van Hohenheim and Alphonse Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist!
 |
| You have every right to be envious of my mad art skills |
"Yeah, I guess you could say the whole city is going to be involved in this final fight of yours." I say.
I then get a fucking high-five from Hohenheim.
Then we watch kids play football and everyone lived happily ever after.
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